Victim Resource Center of the Finger Lakes Inc. 




Domestic or Intimate Partner Violence is about Power and Control, and involves one person in an intimate, personal relationship (current or past) maintaining control over another person through any combination of physical, sexual, economic, emotional, and/or psychological abuse. It occurs in all socioeconomic, racial, religious, and ethnic groups, at all educational levels. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, but women are the victims the majority of the time. 
Ninety-six to ninety-eight percent of intimate partner victims are women.
Men can be victims too!
See "Personalized Safety Plan" at this website. 

"Domestic Violence is the #1 way women, ages 18-50, are injured in this country.  Domestic Violence is the #1 way pregnant women die in this country.  One in four women in the U.S. will be a victim of domestic violence in her lifetime." U. S. Department of Justice 
Victims are often too afraid or ashamed to tell anyone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you are a victim of domestic violence, call 911 if in immediate crisis, then the VRC hotline (24/7) at 1-866-343-8808 or 1-800-456-1172, or our office at (315) 331-1171, Monday - Friday (8:30 am - 4:00 pm).  

For the New York State Domestic Violence agency in your county, call information or go to
Keep your personal records off-site (see "Personalized Safety Plan" on this website), take photographs of any bruises (date and sign them), and come to the VRC for safe shelter or if we are unable to assist you directly we will provide appropriate information and referrals. We provide assistance for victims of domestic abuse in filing to obtain temporary orders of protection.  We also provide  short-term counseling; personal, community, medical, and criminal justice advocacy; information and referrals; support groups; domestic violence shelter; and more. We do not make decisions for you. We empower you with information to make the best decisions for your own life. There is hope for a safe and happy future, free from violence. There are times when, due to a lack of funding, or a possible conflict of interest, we may have to provide you with information and referrals only.
See Resources on this website for information under "Additional Links and Telephone Numbers." You may qualify for a free cell phone and income eligible lower cost phone service.

If anyone places an object, cord, rope, or hands around your neck, go immediately to the emergency room and use the word “strangled” – request that you are checked out for any internal trauma. People have died days later from being choked or “strangled.”

Recognizing Domestic Violence

Does your partner…

  • call you names, yell, put you down, make racial or homophobic slurs, or constantly criticize or undermine you and your abilities as a wife, partner, or mother?
  • behave in an overprotective way or become extremely jealous?
  • make it difficult for you to see family or friends, or say terrible things about your family and friends?
  • prevent you from getting or keeping a job or going to school?
  • limit your access to health, prescription and/or dental appointments or insurance or practice "birth control sabotage" by putting holes in condoms or hiding or disposing of your birth control (women are 4x's as likely to be seriously injured if their partner practices this type of power and control)?
  • humiliate or embarrass you in front of people?
  • deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards, or the car?
  • control all the finances, force you to account for what you spend, or take your money?
  • threaten to report you to the authorities (the police, courts, ICE/immigration), or child protective services?
  • make you afraid by using looks, actions, or gestures
  • display weapons as a way of making you afraid or directly threaten you with weapons?
  • use anger or “loss of temper” as a threat to get you to do what he wants?
  • use the excuse of alcohol or drugs to explain their behavior?
  • threaten to expose your sexual orientation to friends, family, or employer?
  • carry out threats to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends, or himself?
  • destroy personal property or throw things around?
  • grab, push, hit, punch, slap, kick, or bite you? Does he/she try to strangle or choke you? (Victims are 5x's as likely to be murdered by someone who tries to choke or strangle them.)  If someone tries to choke or strangle you, go immediately to a hospital emergency room and notify the hospital personnel that someone tried to strangle you.
  • force you, when you do not want to have sex or engage in sexual acts?
  • prevent you from taking medications or getting medical care?
  • deny you access to food, fluids, phone, and/or transportation?


Copyright 2004 Johns Hopkins University

Several risk factors have been associated with increased risk of homicides (murders) of women and men in violent relationships. We cannot predict what will happen in your case, but we would like you to be aware of the danger of homicide in situations of abuse and for you to see how many of the risk factors apply to your situation. Using the calendar, please mark the approximate dates during the past year when you were abused by your partner or ex-partner. Write on that date how bad the incident was according to the following scale:

1. Slapping, pushing; no injuries and/or lasting pain

2. Punching, kicking; bruises, cuts, and/or continuing pain

3. “Beating up”; severe contusions, burns, broken bones

4. Threat to use weapon; head injury, internal injury, permanent injury

5. Use of weapon; wounds from weapon

(If any of the descriptions for the higher number apply, use the higher number.)

Mark Yes or No for each of the following. (“He” refers to your husband, partner, ex-husband, ex-partner, or whoever is currently physically hurting you.)

____ 1. Has the physical violence increased in severity or frequency over the

           past year?

____ 2. Does he own a gun, knives or have access to guns?

____ 3. Have you left him after living together during the past year?

           3a. If you have never lived with him, check here: ___.

____ 4. Is he unemployed?

____ 5. Has he ever used a weapon against you or threatened you with a 
           lethal weapon?    
If yes, was the weapon a gun? ____

____ 6. Does he threaten to kill you?

____ 7. Has he avoided being arrested for domestic, sexual or 

           stalking violence?

____ 8. Do you have a child that is not his?

____ 9. Has he ever forced you to have sex when you did not wish to do so?

____ 10. Does he ever try to choke or strangle you?

____ 11. Does he use illegal drugs? By drugs, we mean “uppers” or 

            amphetamines, speed, angel
dust, cocaine, “crack”, street

            drugs or mixtures, etc.

____ 12. Is he an alcoholic or problem drinker?

____ 13. Does he control most or all of your daily activities? 

            For instance: does he tell you who you
can be friends with,

            when you can see your family, how much money you can use,

when you can take the car? (If he tries, but you do not let

            him, check here: ____)
____ 14. Is he violently and constantly jealous of you?

            (For instance, does he say “If I can’t have 
you, no one can.”)
____ 15. Have you ever been beaten by him while you were pregnant?

            (If you have never been
pregnant by him, check here: ____)

____ 16. Have you ever threatened or tried to commit suicide?

____ 17. Has he ever threatened or tried to commit suicide?

____ 18. Does he threaten to harm your children?

____ 19. Do you believe he is capable of killing you?

____ 20. Does he follow or spy on you, leave threatening notes or messages
            on answering  
machines, destroy your property, or call you when

            you don’t want him to?
____ 21. Has he been diagnosed with or do you believe he has
             a mental illness?
____ 22. Has someone ever filed for an order of protection against him? 
____ 23. Has he ever been arrested for domestic, sexual or stalking violence?
____ 24. Is he violent outside of the home?
____ 25. Are the threats and violence escalating?
____ 26. Have you ever tried to leave or divorce him in the past?
____ 27. Do you fear for your safety/life and/or the safety of your children?
____ 28. Has he threatened to harm family members or friends?
_______    Total "Yes" Answers 

Please contact your local Domestic Violence agency to speak with a counselor.  In Wayne County, NY, call 1-866-343-8808 (The Victim Resource Center of the Finger Lakes, Inc.). 

Orders of Protection:  In New York State a victim of domestic violence can file a family offense petition in Family Court. For you to file a "family offense petition" you must be legally married to the abuser; divorced from the abuser; related to the abuser by blood or marriage; have a child in common (biologically or legally adopted); and, as of July 24, 2008, with the passing of the Fair Access to Family Court Laws A11707/S8665 in "other intimate relationships (not casual, social or business acquaintances)," allowing all victims of domestic violence access to civil orders of protection.
There are three types of orders of protection afforded victims in Family Court: (1) "Refrain From" Offensive Conduct; (2) a "Stay-Away"; and (3) a "Removal". The "refrain from" imposes conditions of behavior that the abuser must abide by but s/he may still live in the home with the victim; a "stay-away" order prevents the perpetrator from returning to the residence, or going to the victim's place of employment, or any other location where the victim is present; a "removal" order of protection causes the perpetrator to be removed from the residence and s/he cannot return to that home unless by court order. The abuser does not have to be arrested or charged for you to secure a "family offense" order of protection in Family Court.
To secure a criminal order of protection, the victim must call the police and charges must be brought against the abuser for the domestic violence. In criminal court the District Attorney can decide to proceed with the case with or without your participation.
If the police are called regarding a domestic violence incident, they will complete a Domestic Incident Report (DIR) form.  They are required to provide you with a copy of the DIR, even if an arrest is not made.  The report should include a Victim Rights Notice, which explains your rights and how to find the VRC or if living in a county outside of Wayne, the local domestic violence agency; the officers' names and badge numbers; and an explanation if they are not arresting the abuser.  Your statement should also be a written description of what happened, so write your statement carefully and/or review it if the officer transcribes your statement, and review it for errors. Be as accurate as possible.  Providing a false statement is against the law.
If you secure an order of protection, make copies and always have a copy with you and in safe places. Provide your workplace with a copy.  If your children are listed on the family offense order of protection or the criminal order of protection, distribute copies of the order to their childcare workers, school, classroom teacher, grandparents, etc. See Personalized Safety Plan at this website.
Wayne County, NY, handles domestic violence cases in Family Court.  The Family Court handles domestic violence cases as well as other issues such as custody, visitation, and other Family Court cases in the county. You may have matters pending in criminal, family, supreme court (divorce, etc.), immigration court, and/or courts in other counties. 
Preventing Emergency Call  (A.614 Paulin / S.2452 Saland) (New York State)
Makes it a crime to prevent a person from communicating a request for emergency assistance by intentionally disabling or removing communication equipment, such as a telephone or teletypewriter device (TTY). The new crime was added to criminal mischief in the fourth degree, making it a class A misdemeanor.
EFFECTIVE:   July 6, 2008                 Chapter 69
IMBRA (International Marriage Broker Regulation Act) requires the US government to give all immigrating foreign fiancé(e)s and spouses of US citizens critical information about the criminal histories of their American fiancé(e)s/spouses, as well as information about their legal rights and resources available to them if they are abused. This law is specifically regarding the use of marriage brokers to facilitate foreign marriages. IMBRA also mandates other changes in the foreign fiancé(e) and spouse visa application process to try to prevent abuse and exploitation by serial predators. 
Domestic Violence Incident Report Repository for Upstate New York & Long Island: Vital information on domestic violence incidents is now readily available for the first time ever to Upstate and Long Island law enforcement agencies.  Using approximately $1.5 million in federal American Reinvestment and Recovery Act aid, the New York State Division of Criminal Justice Services (DCJS) and the state’s Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence (OPDV) developed a centralized, electronic “Domestic Incident Report” repository. The repository gives police officers, sheriff’s deputies, prosecutors, probation and parole officials the ability to search – by victim or offender name, incident address or document number –Domestic Incident Reports (DIRs) filed by more than 550 police agencies in the 57 counties outside of New York City. 
The Victim Resource Center of the Finger Lakes, Inc. (VRC) does not support, encourage, or participate in the reduction of orders of protection.  Always remember that the
order of protection document is a piece of paper,
and cannot protect you from harm.  It is just one tool in
keeping you and your children safe.
See Pet Safety Plan at PERSONALIZED SAFETY PLAN (this website)
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.  If you are not in immediate danger, but in crisis, call your local domestic violence agency for assistance.  The VRC covers Wayne County in Upstate NY for domestic, sexual, stalking violence, and child abuse services; Wayne, Seneca, Yates, and Ontario Counties, in Upstate New York, for domestic violence shelter.  We also cover 4 counties for migrant farmworker victims of these crimes.  Our hotline numbers are
1-866-343-8808 or 1-800-456-1172. 
Our office number is 1-315-331-1171.